Hello guys Valentine is here again and trust me when I say minds are going to be racing back and forth . will he propose. Does he love me. Is he going to  spend the day with me. What if he does not call. A whole lot of these and many more thousand question will be running through the minds of different persons.

Some times when we obsess we can be so helpless to a point that it can affect our mood our eating habit we can become exceptionally angry. I am writing this because I have felt this way many times. Two years ago before I got married I use to obsess so much that it affected my studies.

 I use to have a boyfriend then. Whenever he calls I will listen to the background to  really find out what is  happening around his environment, if he does not answer his call with hello dear. I will automatically think he is with another lady. 

And the most common one if he does not say I love you at the end of the conversation its trouble. I will obsess myself to sleep. Then the dreaded one if he does not pick my calls on the second ring then I automatically thinks he is with another woman.

The thing with obsession is that we know we are wasting time and energy but we don’t know how to really stop obsessing. In my quest to stop obsessing about a person or thing i adopted the  attitude of grieving. My cousin Luryn will always say cry and let it out.

when we grieve we let out that negative energy, we feel renewed and whole again. Some persons will tell you not to worry that time will heal all wounds, that eventually you will get over it. This is not really so because for us to learn how to stop obsessing about what happen or what went wrong requires us to put in some thorough effort on our part

Here are some tips that may help us to stop obsessing, remember am not a relationship pro or a marriage counselor what may work for A may not work for B but this point will help us towards our journey to stop obsessing.

THREE SOLID POINTS TO HELP STOP OBSESSION

  • ACTIVE DISCUSSION           

Don’t jump into the obvious conclusion that a particular stuff is happening when in the real sense is a different thing altogether. Instead of obsessing ask question, for example if you think your spouse is in a wrong place and you are not sure.

You can politely ask Honey are you at work or are you at place, because am waiting at home for you and listen to their response.  If their response is not appealing wait until you can see them and have a one on one talk with them. Tell them that the last time you spoke with them on phone you did not like their response.

If you think he is suppose to propose and he has not instead of obsessing, get on with a active discussion ask and ask again but in a classy and nice way, before I use to think that when you ask him why he has not propose it means you are cheap, well better be cheap than be a sorry EX. When we open an active discussion we know what is in the other persons mind. How they feel and what they want. After all we are not clairvoyant or mind readers instead of obsessing get active. Hold a active discussion.

Always remember that at the end of the day your intuition supersedes any relationship tips

 

  • PRAY

This point was suppose to be my first, but my rule is that start up something. Then bring your Maker into it. You will  be surprise how fast this point works. If we tell the Holy spirit what is it we are obsessing about that thing that really keeps us awake at night like I use to be.  He will give us peace of mind in fact  in my quest to stop obsessing I had to bring this point to the fore front and in less than three month I had a break through. When you forge a relationship with your Maker he gives you peace.

 

  • CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

The way we act and respond to a particular issue is solely up to us. Our brain and out thoughts have the power to make or break our whole life. The fact is that even if we cannot control the thoughts and emotions that randomly pop into our brain, we can control our responses and actions.

Always remember you are not at the mercy of your obsession and that we can actually learn how to free ourselves from obsessive thoughts. What do you want? whatever we want we can achieve it with strong determination? If you want to feel peaceful then think peaceful thoughts. If you want more joy in your life choose to focus on ideas that bring you joy. I know is not easy. It takes effort but if you are determine you can let go of those obsessive thoughts.

 

HOW I LET GO OF MY OBSESSIONS

When am obsessed about something. I pray. I watch a very nice movie I look around me and see all the beauty that surrounds me and i smile knowing is not the end of life

Here it is let me know how you managed your obsession  

Do have a lovely Valentine tomorrow free from obsession 

XOXO  Cristina Vlad

 

 

Advertisements